Apple PR:

So in the [first] quarter we saw no signs of weakening. We’re up 18% over last year’s [first]-quarter gross, and that, needless to say, is a new record.

Our competition continues to flag and we continue to take up the slack. Market shares in most divisions is increasing, and we have opened seven new regional offices.

Our international division is also showing vigorous signs of upward movement for the last six months and we’re looking at some exciting things in R&D.

Sub-franchising. Don’t talk to me about sub-franchising. We’re making so much money in sub-franchising, it isn’t even funny. Our nominees and assigns continue to multiply and expand, extending our influence nationally and abroad. Our owned and operateds are performing far beyond our expectations both here and abroad.

And the Federal Tax Act of [2010] is giving us a swell write-off on our plant and heavies. And our last debenture issue was this year’s fastest seller.

So, third quarter and year-to-date we have set a new record in sales, a new record in gross, a new record in pre-tax earnings, a new record in after-tax profits, and our stock has split twice in the past year.

In short: we’re loaded.